From experience, I can tell you that small amounts of washing up liquid, shampoo etc diluted in grey water will not kill your plants. All of my bathroom grey water is collected into tanks and then recycled onto the garden. My kitchen sink & washing machine drain into a large jug at the side of the house which needs to be manually emptied, but it also gets recycled onto the garden. I don't use detergent in the washing machine, but we do use soap, shampoo & washing up liquid. Our system is not sophisticated, but it's cheap and it works!
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